Truth Revealed in a Graveyard
- Jul 3
- 5 min read
“For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light— for the fruit of the light consists of all goodness, righteousness, and truth— testing what is pleasing to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:8-10)
“To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps.” (1 Peter 2:21)
Recently, I spent a week up in my old Minnesota stomping grounds.
My wife, Jeanne, and I took the crack o’ dawn Sun Country flight from Florida to Minnesota. Despite a tiring start to the week, we celebrated a friend’s daughter’s high school graduation party (Congratulations, Isla!) at the start of the week. We concluded the week with my niece’s wedding and the corresponding festivities (Congratulations, Hannah and Patrick!). Those two events were wonderful bookends to a semi-vacation week.
However, that meant a lot of time in between to fill, and my stepmom had a lot of things for me to do.
She needs a great deal of help. My father died in November 2024, and my stepmom freely admits that she was a kept woman. My father loved her deeply and basically did everything for her, from handling their finance to completing all the projects around the house. Now that my father is gone, she often relies on me to handle some problems as she’s adjusting to being on her own. That’s great when she lives in Florida during the winter months. But when she’s in Minnesota, there aren’t many people lining up to help.
You can imagine the list of things she handed to me when I walked in the door with Jeanne’s and my luggage.
First came the technology questions about the TV, laptop, and the home’s Wi-Fi system. And then there was fixing the bathroom sink stopper mechanism that had corroded away. And then I helped her sell two sets of chairs on Facebook Marketplace. And then…
That was the big joke between her and my father. There was always a list, and it always ended with, “And then…”.
Of course, while I worked, she mentioned repeatedly how much she missed my father; his wonderful companionship and his help as her steadfast helpmate. That led to much reminiscing on both our parts. Memories and stories of my father came up over and over again, because grief sometimes works its way out very slowly.
As part of the healing process, Jeanne and I had decided to visit my father’s grave at Fort Snelling National Cemetery. He had been a captain in the Air Force during the Korean War and served as a pharmacist. He had earned a burial with honors in a national cemetery. So, we decided to visit his gravesite early in the week. My sister met us at the main gate. As our two cars moved slowly down the road that wound through the separate sections, we noted rank upon rank of identical markers of those who had served their country honorably. It was both awe-inspiring and sobering.
When we arrived at my father’s section, we stepped out and began the search for his grave. All of the headstones had numbers, so it didn’t take too long to find him. It was a beautiful day. The air was slightly cool, and the sunshine made the marble headstones glow bright white against the blue sky and the deep green, perfectly manicured lawn.
As we walked, I said to my stepmom, “I like to visit the graves to honor my family,” to which she replied, “Your father never visited his family’s graves. He said we should honor our departed loved ones by living the way they had wanted us to.”
That brought me up short.
Truth revealed in a graveyard.
The dead are dead, and it’s good that we honor them. However, the question is, “How best to honor them?” We should honor the dead, especially if they were honorable and good people in life. We should honor them even more so if they were also righteous people who knew Jesus and lived for Him. But the sad reality is that they are no longer on this earth.
That leaves us and their grave.
My stepmom made a great point. I know my father would want me to live now as he had lived—honorably, and as the best, most “goodest,” person I can be. At his funeral, I had many mourners come up to me to tell me how my father sacrificed himself for them as family, friends, and employees. (Boy, if you only knew!) What an example he was.
But there’s a far greater example of honor, goodness, and righteousness whose life we should aspire to copy.
Jesus.
The difference that’s unique to Jesus and no other person who has ever lived or will live is that we don’t honor Jesus because He’s dead. We honor Him because He lives. That’s precisely the way He wants it. Jesus wants us to live lives that honor Him, to be good as He was good (Acts 10:38), and to walk right with Him in increasing measure every day.
If we would do that for a dead person, how much more should we live life that way because Jesus broke the power of death and He lives forevermore!
As we walked back to the car through the rows and rows of headstones, perhaps it was the solemnity, the thoughts of the afterlife, or the self-reflection brought on by the visit that made me grasp the truth of what my stepmom said.
Yes, let’s honor the dead by living well as they would expect us to do.
But even more, let’s honor the Living One by living as He lived and lives now.
Truth revealed in a graveyard.
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Shining the Light of God’s Truth on the Road Ahead
Pastor Jay Christianson
The Truth Barista, Frothy Thoughts